


Steel and Scales

by ComplimentaryCuller



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood (minor/one time), Dragons, Fight Scenes, M/M, Swearing (Karkat), i couldn't figure out how to do chapter formatting sue me, really long, why do all of these snarky broads want to kill and eat dave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 09:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11228571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComplimentaryCuller/pseuds/ComplimentaryCuller
Summary: Dave looked at the dragon. It (he?) was half buried in books and treasure, a strange mix in the hoard, sleeping peacefully. He looked almost human, a boyish face just at the cusp of adulthood, but for the gray scales and nubs of horns. He steeled himself, reminding himself of his sister’s disappearance at the hands of such a creature, even if it wasn’t this one. He drew his broadsword, the scrape of steel on steel echoing faintly around the cavern. Not faintly enough, as the dragon shook himself sleepily, looking around dazedly, until locking his eyes on Dave.





	Steel and Scales

Dave looked at the dragon.   
It (he?) was half buried in books and treasure, a strange mix in the hoard, sleeping peacefully. He looked almost human, a boyish face just at the cusp of adulthood, but for the gray scales and nubs of horns.   
Dave steeled himself, reminding himself of his sister’s disappearance at the hands of such a creature, even if it wasn’t this one. He drew his broadsword, the scrape of steel on steel echoing faintly around the cavern. Not faintly enough, as the dragon shook himself sleepily, looking around dazedly, until locking his eyes on Dave.  
“Oh, _fuck_ me! Fuck! I get all my hoard in one place; even get my own gogdamned territory, and _what_ happens?! Some foppish asshole with his sniffnode stuffed so far up his wastechute he can see daylight decides that ‘oh yes, today looks like a lovely day to murder someone!!!” And pranced his way to my hive to do just that! Well not today spazmaggot! Come back later! I am flat out refusing to deal with this hoofbeastshit!” He snarled furiously, his subvocals humming like a hive of wasps with a grudge. He burrowed into his hoard deep, as if that would dissuade the knight.   
Dave raised an eyebrow.  
“Sorry dude, no can do, gotta protect all the lil’ farmer dudes and swooning maidens, can’t really keep ‘em safe if there’s a marauding dragon about, all setting fires and eating people and shit," he said, readying his stance as the dragon stood, shaking off the more stubborn parts of his hoard.  
He leapt from the top of his pile, wings making a graceful glide to the floor. “First of all, fuck you, I’ve never even killed someone, so I’m hardly marauding. Second of all, I buy the food I eat, so that’s wrong too. Third of all, I literally just moved here, so fuck you for making me get up for your shit! So you can just shove your impertinent sniffnode so far up your wastechute you can see daylight and pail yourself on your stupid sword all the way back to your hive!” he was practically screeching by the end of it.  
“Dude, you need to chill,” Dave said, flashstepping forward. His sword was trapped in two sickles he hadn’t seen been drawn, and with an expert twist, it was shattered. Ducking down, he drew his short sword, and aimed to clip a wing to keep him on the ground. Instead, the dragon tugged his leg forward, bringing him onto the ground, and leapt over him and into the air, hovering near a stalactite, his glowing throat betraying the flames threatening. Dave rolled out of the way, and perched on a pile of books, hoping he wouldn’t risk his hoard to dispose of an intruder.  
"I’m just trying to find my sister and “ooh a dragon lives here, definitely", but he’s not even green, and it’s too fuckin' early for this,” he muttered, and the dragon glared at him.  
“What, so you just went around asking about a dragon and didn’t even specify the color? You’re a fucking idiot.”  
Dave flushed, glad for the dim-orange lighting, and tried to play him hearing his muttering off. “Dude, I don’t know how you dragons work, maybe you’re all chameleons, I don’t know this shit, I’m just a knight.”  
The dragon rolled his eyes. “It’s Karkat, not ‘you dragon’, and what color green was it?”  
“What?” Dave said blankly.  
“What. Color. Green. Was it? This is very important to the health of your human sister.”  
“I dunno, green? I’m not a color theorist. Why does it matter?”  
The dra- Karkat - sighed deeply. “Because I’m offering, you moronic fuck, to negotiate with the other one, and I would really rather not to have to visit every green dragon in a fifty mile radius. Preferably, you and your idiotic kin would leave me alone after this.” His throat cooled, and he dropped to the floor, fastening his sickles back to his side sheathes.  
"Do I have an oath?”   
Dave considered it for a moment. Dragons kept their oaths, but if reneged on could level palaces with their fury. He weighed them in his mind carefully.  
“Fine. I want my sister freed, and I want our kingdom safe from you, and the Dersite knights will leave you alone.”   
Karkat nodded decisively. “ ** _It is done._** "   
He blinked rapidly. "Now we should get moving if you want to get even a third of the way to Terezi’s by nightfall, as I refuse to carry you. I assume you have a horse?”  
“Duh dude, of course I do, I couldn’t leave Maplehoof all alone in the big dark castle while I slew mighty beasts.”  
Karkat glared. “Leave it. It’s safer here for it. And I’m not the one going around murdering anyone I can find.”  
“Fair enough. But I’m not leaving Maplehoof.”  
“Oh yes you-”

 

The forest path looked like a war zone of color. Overturned trees splattered in color, her stupid smiley carved into their trunks, and then fucking Vriska’s mixed in too. They were the most vomit-worthy (and quadrant smearing) couple Karkat had ever had the displeasure to meet. “This was a terrible idea,” he thought to himself. The knight was chattering about something, Gog knows what by this point, and Karkat really wished he had stayed with the horse as he had threatened when told to leave her three days ago. Judging by the increase in colors, they’d be at Terezi’s hive in another quarter hour. They continued walking. Finally, they got there.  
“Ay ‘Rezi, get out here!” He called.  
“No dice, sh8uty!” An irritating voice called. Vriska. Of course. This couldn’t get any worse, could it? “Luckily, you get to see me!” She said, strolling into the sunlight in her shitty FLARP costume, pointed tail lashing around as she strutted. She had an entire peacock tail on her hat this time. Of course she did.   
Karkat rolled his eyes. “Wow, nice hat, spiderbitch, now where’s Terezi? Off licking someone’s eyeballs again, or maybe pestering them about their scales?”  
Vriska grinned. “Sorry Karkles, she pro8a8ly wont be back soon, you should just leave already. You can leave your gift though, I’m sure she’ll love it.” She sneered.  
“Holy fuck Vriska, not everyone just goes around abducting humans, not like you’d-“   
Dave gave out a squawk, and turned around, his sword half unsheathed.  
“WOW K4RK4T, D1DN’T 3XP3CT TO SN1FF YOU H3R3! WH4T BR1NGS YOU 4ND M1ST3R CH3RRY TO MY N3CK OF TH3 WOODS?” Terezi rasped out, leaning on Karkat’s shoulder.   
He sighed. “The idiot you just slobbered over needs me to find his human sister in exchange for the rest of the shitty knights leaving me alone. Apparently the dragon that took her was green.” He said, nodding toward Dave.  
“We could always eat him for you if you really waaaaaaaanted us to, Karkles. You know we’re always happy to help you out.” Vriska grinned.  
“H3 DO3S T4ST3 D3L1C1OUS. 4LMOST L1K3 4 CH3RRY P13!”  
“Reminds me of someone, too, riiiiiiiight Karkles?”   
Gog, were they tag teaming him? He had to get out of here.  
“Do you have his human sister or not Terezi?” he asked tiredly, hoping his tone would throw them off the scent.  
“Hmm, I don’t know Terezi, doooooooo we?”  
“GOODN3SS, 1 DON’T KNOW! 1 MUST 1NVE3ST1G4T3 TH1S! ST4ND 4S1D3 M4RQU1S3, OR B3 CH4RG3D W1TH OBSTRUCT1ON OF JUST1C3!”  
“Gasp, whateeeeeeeever shall I do?” Vriska swooned into Terezi’s arms.   
Karkat groaned, executing a facepalm x2 combo.   
They started making out. Enthusiastically. For eight minutes.   
Karkat was yelling for most of them.  
“GOD, DO YOU HAVE TO SUCK FACE EVERY FEW MINUTES IN A PERVETED QUARDRANT-SMEARING DISPLAY EVERY SINGLE TIME SOMEONE VISITS YOU SO YOUR SNARK GLANDS DON’T EXPLODE MESSILY OVER INOCCENT BYSTANDERS, OR AM I THE ONLY ONE YOU TORMENT LIKE THIS?” Karkat huffed, out of breath after yelling for so long.  
“WHY K4RK4T, YOU KNOW YOU’R3 4LW4YS W3LCOM3 TO JO1N US, TH3R3’S NO N33D TO G3T J34LOUS!” Terezi cackled. “YOUR FR13ND IS W3LCOM3 TO TRY TOO.” She winked.  
Karkat gagged. “I wouldn’t touch the possibility of a quadrant with you with a ten foot pole made entirely of my own regrets.”  
Dave spoke. ”Well, I certainly wouldn’t be averse to join the party, myself.” He smirked. Karkat felt like vomiting, and looked over to see Vriska’s face in an expression akin to fury and snark’s hatechild. They needed to get out of here.  
“Well anyway we should get going bye Terezi, nice seeing you, have a nice day!” He grabbed onto Dave’s shoulder, forcefully pulling him away at a quick pace.  
“8yeeeeeeee Karkat! Nice meeting your friend! Come 8ack soon! Or don’t! Whatever!”   
Waving with his free hand, he made a quick retreat, not stopping until the colorful trees faded into the background.  
“Dude what the fuck? I was having a good time with those broads. Wait, were they even girls? Do dragons have gender?”  
Karkat let out a long groan. “I pulled you away because in case you didn’t notice, Vriska was ready to cull you for flirting with her moirail-sprite-mesis whatever!”   
Dave actually seemed surprised. “Wait, what? It was just play-flirting, dude, I wasn’t serious.”   
Humans were so fucking obtuse.  
“You think Vriska can tell? She was ready to rip out your throat, trust me. The last guy that tried that can’t use his gills anymore. Come on, we need to find a good place to make camp.”  
“Aye aye, sir.”

They found a sheltered overhang and made a fire, cooking a small fawn they had caught. Karkat ate the bones, too, making Dave wince at the familiar crack. Karkat stopped after that, not wanting to ask. They both sat, picking at their cloaks or staring into the distance, unwilling to make themselves so defenseless near the other. They snuck glances at the other over the fire, studying their movements and features, looking away hurriedly when the other shifted. Eventually, lulled by the silence and the warmth of the fire, they fell into a soft slumber on the hard ground, neither noticing the other losing their wakefulness.

 

Karkat woke in the early morning of the eight day of their “journey”, hazy gray fog dissuading any who would peek their heads out from the safety of their homes. Casting a glance at Dave, he noticed the knight’s shaking, causing a faint rattling of his armor as his lips moved in silent pleading. He rushed over, shaking him awake.  
“Dave, it’s just a dream, wake up!”  
Dave’s eyes snapped open as he threw a punch. “BRO, STOP!” he shouted, only vaguely realizing where he was.   
Karkat felt something wet on his cheek. He raised a hand to it curiously, coming away with blood. His blood. It was dripping from a small cut on his cheek. His pupils went wide, looking at Dave, who was staring at the red on his gauntlet. Backing up until he felt the cave wall at his back, he drew his sickles, eyes wide with terror.  
‘Not again,’ he thought. ‘Not again.’  
Dave’s eyes were still on him. “You’re a red blood,” he breathed. “Holy shit.”  
Karkat was shaking “I-I’ll cull you, you’ll never find your sister without me, I’ll-I’ll-” Dave raised a placating hand, dropping it when Karkat flinched.  
“Dude, I’m not going to kill you, just- just surprised is all, I thought they were hunted into extinction, you know? What with the whole, like, trophy bullshit, and the medicine stuff, with pretty much everyone? Aw shit dude, I’m sorry for bring that up, I just ramble when I’m nervous and shit, ya get me? I'ma shut up now.”  
Karkat slumped onto the ground, sagging in relief. “Oh thank fuck,” he breathed. “Thank fuck.” He fainted.   
Dave got up, slightly concerned, and tapped him in the leg with a boot. He shot up. “MOTHER FUC- wait, what?”  
Dave breathed a sigh of relief. “Fainted, dude. Don’t worry, you were only out for a few seconds.”  
Karkat sighed. “Good. Ok. I can roll with this. We should probably get moving. We have a long way to go to get to Nepeta’s.”

 

He wasn’t exaggerating. They walked for six more days, avoiding roads and knight outposts, making camp and hunting game, until they finally got to the entrance of her system of caves. Karkat offered up a small prayer that Equius wouldn’t be there. Judging by the freshly shattered glass his prayers hadn’t been answered, but there was always hope. Suddenly, he found himself on the ground, claws digging into his shoulder and a faded green jacket practically draped over him.  
“Heeeeey Karkitty! Whatefur are mew doing here?” Nepeta picked herself up, offering Karkat a hand he took gratefully, brushing the cave dirt off his shirt.  
“I came here to find out if you had this dickbag’s sister. Apparently, if I get her back from whoever has her, I won’t be attacked by knights anymore, which will be a huge help. I got an oath too, so it’s binding.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry Karkitty, I don’t have fur! I would have taken her mewself if I’d known it would get knights to leave mew alone, though. Good luck!” She smiled with her cleft lip, sharp fangs stained with purple blood from a fresh kill.   
Dave shuddered in the corner of Karkat’s eye.   
“Of course, mew could always come to me and Equius if you need help with humans! Purresent company included, of course!” She smiled, looking over to Dave with a sharp grin.  
 _"What is it with these broads and wanting to eat me?!”_ Dave whispered.   
Karkat and Nepeta ignored him.  
“Nah, that’d just get them all after me, and I just got settled in at the new place, so it’d be a real bitch to move it all again.”   
A deep voice startled him. “Besides Nepeta, humans are simply not healthy for a young olive such as yourself.” Equius strode forward, wiping his wet and greasy hands on a damp towel and swung it over his shoulder, and stood behind Nepeta.  
“Oh there mew are Equius! Karkitty’s here!”  
Equius grimaced. “Yes, I can see him. Why did you lead a trained knight to our hive?”  
Karkat rolled his eyes. ”We both know that Nepeta could make mincemeat out of a score of knights in an hour. We’ve seen her fucking decimate a cholerabear pack faster, and they’re must bigger and faster than any of these tin cans. Besides, it’s not like you can’t handle yourself either.”   
Nepeta smiled, eyes light up like a spotlight and darting in between them.  
“Actually Karkat, I’ve got a mew type of chameowmile tea that I’d like mew to try, would mew like to stay a while? Your... furrend can have some, too, if he’d like!”  
Karkat shook his head hurriedly. “Thanks, but we have to get moving. Kanaya’s is pretty far away still, and I really don’t want to have to waste anymore time on this shit.”  
Nepeta nodded, her shippurr’s gleam fading. “Ok, bye Karkitty, see mew! Come back anytime!” she waved.   
Equius nodded.   
Karkat walked off hurriedly, Dave trailing behind him. Safely ensconced in the trees, Dave turned to the tired lump that was once Karkat.  
“Dude, what the entire fuck was that. Like, there was some cat girl who wanted to eat me, and then some buff sweaty dude talking about how it wouldn’t be healthy? And he kept on like, staring at me, just standing there all creepy? Also, why was she flirting with you? Wasn’t the buff dude her boyfriend? Dude? Dude are you dead I do not wanna go back there.”  
“Please just shut up and let me die in peace.” Karkat groaned. “Just- just give me a minute, ok? Those guys really take it out of me really, being around Nepeta always makes me feel guilty for not liking her back and Equius is just plain fucking creepy.” Finally lifting himself off, he looked around to get his bearings. He led Dave to a cave, and promptly passed the fuck out, only staying awake long enough to light the fire to keep away wild animals while Dave hunted for their dinner.

 

He woke to the feeling of Dave’s cotton under-mail shirt’s sleeve draped over his chest. Dave had started huddling closer to him in his sleep after a few weeks, probably for warmth, but it was cute nonetheless. His white-blond hair was scattered over his closed eyelids, and a galaxy of freckles appeared where his helmet didn’t cover his face. The little moon-crest of Derse was cute on his forehead, even if the sunburn did look silly. Karkat smiled to himself. It was nice to have a peaceful moment once in awhile. He’d been caught up in moving, what with having to flee rather hurriedly from hunters, and then the terror of the first nights spent traveling with a knight he didn’t know, and the snarky broads on top of it. It was nice, being able to just rest awhile. He still couldn’t believe that Kanaya had fucking kidnapped this Rose girl though.  
' _I mean, yeah, she has made plenty of mistakes with human courtship before, but this is pretty extreme. The only other reason she would have taken her would be to protect someone she cared for, but she isn’t the type to shirk away from culling for the good of others.'_  He cast about for another reason, but he really couldn’t figure it out. _'After all, this Rose is supposed to be a Seer, not a fabric maker, and Kanaya is much too polite to kidnap someone for their cloth-making, anyway. Vriska had probably just fed her some bullshit she heard from a drunken human in a bar and she had taken it like the gay sap she was. Terezi was always telling her that humans were not to be trusted if they were in a tavern but Vriska never fucking listened, did she. And poor, poor Kanaya had believed her. Or maybe it was Eridan; he had never been good with flirting, dragon or no. She had to have more sense than that, right?'_ He was shaken out of his thoughts by a squirming human against his side.  
“Whoa bro, were you just cuddling up to me? Was this a secret cuddle pile and I wasn’t informed, how could you do this to me bro, I trusted you man, come on.”   
Karkat snorted. “Oh please, I stayed right where I was all night, you’re the one who wiggled his way over here like a demented grub.”  
“Lies and slander. I won’t stand for it in this house, young man.” Dave managed his serious façade for a few seconds, before breaking out in giggles with Karkat.

 

They broke camp and began hiking towards the mountain, weaving through the trees and trading stories about Rose and Kanaya respectively. Karkat couldn’t believe she had actually kidnapped someone, and Dave couldn’t believe Rose let her what with her seer powers and bond with the horror terrors. They both agreed that it was fucking weird of both of them. They reached the mountain town, and Karkat asked about the dragon who lived on his mountain. Glancing curiously at the two of them, the villager tilted his head back, eyeing them closely.  
“The dragon who lives here, she protects us, see, and we’d rather she was safer than not, so I’m going to have to deny you that traveler.”   
Karkat pulled back his hood, relieved. “Oh, you guys like her? I mean, I’m not surprised, classic Kanaya really, but she’s a friend of mine and I’d like to see her. I can vouch for him too.” He flicked his pointed ears in the mountain sunlight.   
The man smiled kindly. “Oh, of course! Normally we don’t get any visitors but challenging knights, and the poor girl can really only handle so much, you know?”  
“Trust me, I know just what you’re talking about.” Karkat agreed, glaring playfully at Dave, a smile dancing around his thin black lips.

 

Following the winding path pointed out by the village-person, Dave walked quickly, ready to see his sister after hard weeks of traveling. They reached the door to the cottage-cave hive hybrid, and looked at each other for a moment, nodding at each other. Karkat knocked.  
“Hey Kanaya, you in there?” he called.  
“Just a minute, if you please,” a muffled voice answered. Opening the door, Karkat came face to face with- a fucking human? Wait, was this Rose? What the fuck was going on?  
“Ah, hello dear brother, do come in, and would you mind informing me who your friend is?” Rose said pleasantly.  
“Rose?” Dave stared. “Rose, what the fuck?! You disappeared, we thought you were kidnapped, you were just gone, and, and people said that you got carried off by some green dragon, and I went looking for you, what the fuck is even going on?!”  
Rose looked taken aback. “What are you talking about? Wh-what happened? Didn’t you read my note???”  
“What note?!?!”

 

“So what you’re telling me is that you did not see any letter at all, heard accounts from some villagers of an abduction by a dragon, and immediately set out to kill the first dragon you saw?”  
Dave grumbled. “Look Rose, I’m not the one who ran away with their dragon girlfriend without telling anyone, now am I?”  
Rose raised her eyebrow. “Oh, aren’t you? Excuse me, datemate, I don’t mean to presume.” She said, flapping her hand at Karkat in a pacifying gesture.   
Karkat had remained silent, sipping at his coffee next to Dave while the twins chattered like no tomorrow, but at this, he sat up.  
“So what you’re telling me, _Davey_ , is that you oh so conveniently lost your sister’s letter, showed up at my hive, THREATENED TO _KILL ME_ , FORCED ME INTO BARGAINING FOR MY _LIFE_ , AND SENT ME ON A FUCK-LONG JOURNEY TO SEE WHO HAD YOUR HUMAN SISTER, FORCED ME TO PUT UP WITH ASSHOLE BLUEBLOODS, ALL FOR US TO FIND OUT THAT YOUR HUMAN SISTER WAS _ACTUALLY HAVING A DANDY TIME WITH HER GIRLFRIEND_? IS THAT WHAT IS CURRENTLY COMING OUT OF YOUR INSUFFERABLE WINDHOLE? SWEET ALMIGHTY TAINTCHAFING FUCK, FUCKING TELL ME OTHERWISE, OR I SWEAR TO YOUR STUPID HUMAN GOG I’LL EXPLODE MESSILY INTO A COMPLETELY NEW UNIVERSE, CREATED PURELY OUT OF MY OWN SHITHIVE WRITHING HELLISH ANGUISH BLADDER IMPREGNATING THE VERY SPACE AROUND IT WITH RAGE AS PURE AS THE FLUIDS POURING FROM THE MOTHER GRUBS UNDULATING ASSHOLE WHILE YOU GET STUNG BY RIPPERWASPS IN YOUR MINISCULE BULGE, DAVE, YOU LIMP FRONDED LOONEYBLOCK-MAKING SEEDFLAP-JERKING NOOK-LICKING BULE-FONDLING FREAKOUT WEASEL ON SOPOR!!!” Karkat was wheezing by the end, his eyes blown, hand bleeding from his shattered cup, chair knocked over from when he stood suddenly, hair as wild and snarled as seemingly possible. He was stunning.  
“Oh shit,” Dave thought, as Rose looked at him in confusion, “Did I say that out loud?”  
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Shit shit shit shit. Code red, all systems go soldier. Dave swallowed.  
“I mean, I guess I kinda... like you? I mean you’re really smart, and you get really passionate about the things you care about, and you’re really funny and caring behind your prickly shell, and you are really understanding about my nightmares and shit, and you had like a billion opportunities to kill me or have me killed without reneging on your deal, but you didn’t? Like, even when you still kinda hated me, which was nice of you, and you are really easy to talk to and a really good cuddler and I’m sort of rambling here. But like, can I um… can I kiss you? I mean, if you want, I don’t want to pres- mph!” Karkat kissed him, careful of his teeth, and Dave melted into him, relief coursing through his veins. Putting his arms around the other’s neck, he pulled himself up slightly to get a better angle, deepening the kiss, until they pulled away, breathless.   
Rose whistled at them, and they returned to the present moment, and suddenly they were three feet away from each other and blushing madly. The door opened.  
“Oh, Hello Karkat. What Brings You Here?” Kanaya asked curiously.

 

“Rose, I Thought You Told Your Family?” They were sitting around a table in the dining room/kitchen area, trying to make sense of the past 2 and a half months.  
“Apparently, the letter went missing, most likely eaten by Jasper, truth be told.”  
Karkat grumbled, putting his head in his free hand, the other trapped in Dave’s under the table. “I still can’t believe it was all for this. I can’t fucking believe it.”  
“There, there, babe. At least we know now.” Dave patted his hand sympathetically, tired from the long journey himself.  
Karkat raised his head. “You all do realize that Dave has to go back, and they won’t believe you actually like staying with Kanaya if you aren’t there to tell them, right, Rose? And based on what I’ve heard of Roxy, never mind Dirk, it’s going to be pretty hard to convince her to let her youngest sister go be a hermit in the woods.”  
Dave looked over at him nervously. “Um, well… about that… umm, I was thinking that, uh, maybe, it wouldn’t just be Rose? ‘Cause, um, I’d kinda. Like to just stay with you? And, like, its totally fine if you never want to see me again, and just want to be left alone after all this, but I, uh, kinda just wanna like, live in your hive with you?? I mean, if that’s alright, if it’s not I’ll just go and fuck off on my merry way, but you know, I think it’d be kindanicemaybeidontknowwhatever.”  
Karkat smiled at him, an expression of relief painted on his face. “Oh thank gog, I’m so glad you’re the one who suggested it, I was too nervous.” Shaking his head quickly as if to dispel his pleased blush, he turned back to Rose and Kanaya, who wore matching smirks. “Ok, so, as I was saying, it’s going to be pretty hard to convince Roxy to let her main Seer/sister and her knight brother go live with dragons in the woods, so you’re probably going to have to go and see her yourselves. Kanaya, you should probably go with her so you can convince them as well. You all should prepare to go to court.”  
Dave blinked. “Dude, you think you’re not coming? I need my boyfriend there for moral support. Talking to Dirk is going to be hell.”   
Karkat rolled his eyes and kissed Dave’s hand.“Ok, so we need to pack for four people. Without the detours it should only take a week and a half. Kanaya, I assume you have some sort of proper clothing for us all?”  
“Maybe I Do, Maybe I Don’t.” She smiled, a tad embarrassed. “Ok, Yes, I Do.”  
“Of course you do.” Karkat smiled fondly at her. “Anyway, we should start preparing now. Chop chop, people”

 

They stayed there for a week, gathering food and fitting clothes, making dinner and going into town, cleaning armor and washing scales. Fg’dshj’fg, Rose’s pet horrorterror, tentacled his way around; bringing bolts of cloth and packs for supplies. He was also an excellent mouser. Karkat and Dave explored the town, going to bakeries and buying pastries, casting coins into the fountains and purveying herbs. Dave bought a new katana for Dirk, “to throw him off the scent,” and Karkat got Kanaya some thin leather thread as a thank-you. Finally, they were prepared. The journey back took just over a week, as they found good roads with help from the villagers, stopping at taverns and way-houses. Eventually, they reached the citadel of Derse.

 

They made great use of their cloaks, walking through the city unnoticed, and using the twin’s positions to gain entry to the palace. As they walked through the doors, Roxy came running, her robes flying out behind her.  
“Davey! Rosey! You’re back! I missed you so much! Are you alright? You were gone for so long! What happened?”  
The twins looked at their partners grimly. “Roxy, we need to talk with you and Dirk. In private.”  
“Oh my gosh, yeah! Dirky’ll be so glad to see you! Come on come on he’s in his workshop!” She set off running, servants ducking out of the way of their monarch.   
They followed, their pace more of those filled with dread.

 

Roxy knocked on dirk’s door. “Dirk! Rose and Dave are back!”   
The door swung open immediately, and Dirk’s eyes widened behind his shades.  
“Holy fuck, Dave,” he said, wrapping the twins in a hug. “What took you so long? And who the fuck are they?” he said, looking over at the two hooded dragons.  
Dave grimaced. “It’s a long story.”

 

They sat around a mostly empty work table.  
“Ok, so can we have an explanation, or are we just going to sit here?”   
Dave rolled his eyes at Dirk. “Ok, so I went to-"  
Karkat laid a clawed hand on Dave’s arm. “Let me do the explanation, or we’ll be here all day.”  
Dave nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. Shoot, Karkat.”   
He took a deep breath, and nodded to Kanaya that they should take off their hoods. Drawing them back gingerly, they gripped their partner’s hands.  
“Dave,” Dirk said, dangerously calm. “Why did you bring two dragons into the castle?”  
Karkat tensed minutely. “Wow, fuck you, too, dude.” He breathed put through his nose, forcing himself to relax. “The rundown of the situation is that he came to my hive, attacked me, and I agreed to help him find his sister, only for it to turn out that she had run away with her girlfriend, Kanaya, and apparently her “hey, I’m running off with my girlfriend, don’t worry i wasn’t kidnapped” note got lost.”  
Dirk’s eyes narrowed. “And how do we know that you aren’t-”  
Dave cut him off.“It’s true, ok? Lay off him.” He squeezed Karkat’s hand.  
Karkat resumed. “Neither of us has ever attacked anyone, anyway, so you don’t have to worry about that. Kanaya is the protector of her mountain village, so no problems there, and I’m a hermit. Your human siblings also want to live with us in our hives and, I quote, be ‘cryptids in the woods’ with us. That’s about it.”  
Rose nodded. “Yes, that all is true. And I can definitely say that Kanaya did not kidnap me, and I did leave a note.”  
Dave raised his hand. “Also, I hate being a knight and I sorta just want to be a sword making cryptid with my boyfriend. Also, I’m dating Karkat.” Dirk boggled at them. He was opening his mouth to speak, but Roxy steamrolled over him.  
“That’s fucking adorable! Rosey, you should have told us! Omg, Davey, you should’ve told us you didn’t want to be a knight! What with your brother and everything, you know... of course we would’ve supported you. We’re your family.”  
Dirk was silent. He sighed. “Of course I’ll support you, just… visit us, alright? We are your family, and we’ll miss you.” He turned to their datemates. “And as for you, if you ever hurt them, I’ll hunt you down myself and use you hides as armor,” he said, eyes narrowed.   
Kanaya started chattering away, using a placating tone.   
Karkat just stared. Suddenly, he burst out laughing. “Dave, aha, you didn’t, pfft, tell me you were, ha, the normal one, hah, in the family!”  
Dave just smirked. “Babe, there’s no way you would have believed me.”  
Karkat wiped his eyes. “True. I can barely believe it myself.” He pushed back his chair. “Well, it was great meeting you, Roxy. Dirk, you lived up to your reputation. Wanna go to our hive, Dave?” He turned to Dave.   
He smiled. “Yeah, let’s.” They strode across the courtyard, servants turning in shock at the uncloaked dragons striding along with their arms around the royal twins’ waists and chattering idly. Dave and Karkat shared a kiss, before Karkat scooped him up bridal style, flying to his hive while Dave screamed in delight and terror.   
Rose and Kanaya flew off in a much more dignified manner, skirts streaming out behind them.  
“Oh fuck,” Dave said suddenly. “I forgot to give Dirk his katana.”  
“Mother fucker,” Karkat grumbled. “You’re such an idiot sometimes.”  
“But I’m your idiot.” Dave smiled innocently.   
Karkat smiled back softly.  
“You do realize I’m not going back, right?”  
“Oh like fuck you are. I need to sleep.”


End file.
